You know that game, Dirty Minds? Where normal everyday things are described, but everything ends up sounding dirty? Don't you hate it when completely innocent things come out sounding that way???
"I want a Buzz and a Woody!!"
-Me
"God forbid I pound without consent."
-BK-Me
"God forbid I pound without consent."
"I'm gonna eat your cutie!!!"
-BK
"Or I can sit on your lap and be cute and cuddle with you."
-BK
"I gave Lisa "the clap," but she doesn't get it yet."
-BK
"Those are large breasts!"
-Brad
"You're a horse!!"
-Me to K-Dog in the middle of a Chinese restaurant
"Heidi can go upstairs and start screwing if you want."
-Mom
“You’re gonna hafta leave or put down your skirt. You can’t just stand there holding your skirt up!”
-K-Dog
Me: "Yeah, they're crawling right up my ass with a flashlight!"
Jason: "At least they've got a flashlight."
"I'd like to try some of your tenderloin."
-Brad
"There's a lot of ass-sniffin' goin' on here!"
-Amber
"Ya, that's fine as long as you don't suck too hard."
-Dustin
"Ya, that's fine as long as you don't suck too hard."
-Dustin
"She likes to try to suck on this thing, but I tell her 'no-no.'"
-Gina
-Gina
"She just wants to gnaw on the nipple."
-Gina
"She got a lot of crabs on vacation."
-Jason, talking about his wife Nacole
Jason: "Wow!! It's really hangin' on!!"
Nacole: "I'll just have to suck it off."
Nacole: "No, we don't eat that. "
Jason: "It tastes like you're eating a breast implant."
