A Nice Surprise

Imagine my surprise when I checked my email at work between appointments today and found a lovely note from a client I saw back in 2006-2007! Apparently this person looked me up to tell me how things were and to say thanks again. It was such a bright spot in a pretty hectic day!

The funny thing is, I have wondered about this particular client every so often since we ended our work together. I had always hoped things would go well and work out, but I don't often get to hear "the rest of the story" after my work with someone ends, so it was really nice to get a brief update. It will probably be one of those notes I'll save and pull out on really tough days.

Studying Update

Studying has been going v e r y  s l o w l y lately. Last week was a pretty crazy week, to say the least. I found I was pretty exhausted by the time I got home in the evening and it was tough just to figure out what to have for dinner.

In spite of that, I did make some headway on the family therapies, which are somewhat confusing with their similar names (e.g., strategic, systemic, structural, systems). Hopefully I used some study strategies that will help them all stick in my head.

I also spent a little time today diagnosing personality disorders in the characters from the show Arrested Development. That was kind of fun and didn't feel so much like studying, though I'm not quite finished with that yet.

Anyway, that's all I've got for an update. Oh wait! Last Friday I found out what my "raise" will be for the next academic/budget year. I say "raise" because it was much less than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't have high expectations, but I did hope it would be more. But it's not. So now I REALLY need to finish up my supervised hours and pass this exam so I can get another raise and start taking on some private practice work on the side.

OK, that's really all I got for now. I'm off to fold laundry and study a little more before callin' it a night. Yes, my life IS glamorous, thank you for noticing.

How I'm Feeling...

I was reading last night and this little piece of dialogue really resonated with me. I thought about it again this morning standing at the kitchen sink, and again during lunch today. It's from North of Hope, and these two characters are driving long distance and are nearly home again:

"Please, Tom, I'm exhausted."
"That's why I'm telling you. Talk to you, keep you awake."
"I'm not sleepy, just exhausted."

That's me. I'm exhausted. I'm not tired or sleepy, but I am definitely exhausted. I guess I never really thought about the difference, but it fits for me.

How are you feeling?

That Time My Mom Broke Her Foot

So I've not been blogging lately, (in case you haven't noticed), but last week was busy and then I spent last weekend in St. Paul with my mom and brother. Even better, I had this Monday and Tuesday off, so we could stay a little longer! We had a good time in St. Paul.

Apparently, my mom had so much fun, she decided to extend her vacation and come back home with me until the end of the week. She kept talking about raking and painting and whatnot (she always says those kinds of things), but I really urged her to relax and watch movies and knit and read her book, as I would be away at work and couldn't help with all that nonsense.

She didn't listen.

Yesterday, she was doing a little raking and pruning the roses in my flower bed when she stepped back out of the bed, onto the grass, which is slightly sloped toward the driveway. The way she tells it, she sort of slipped out of her clog-like (open back) tennis shoes, and twisted and landed on the side of her foot. And heard a crack. Thankfully she went in the house, put her foot up, iced it, and immediately took ibuprofen, instead of continuing with the gardening.

Meanwhile, I'm plugging away at work and decide to call my mom during lunch. Here's what that conversation was like:

M: "Hello?"
H: "Hi Mom, what're you doing?"
M: "Oh, just sitting and watchin' a movie."
H: "Oh good, that sounds nice."
M: "Yeah. What are you doing? How come you're calling me?"
H: "I'm eating lunch and thought I'd call to see how your day was going and what you were up to."
M: "Oh. (pause)  Listen, I may or may not have broken my foot today."
H: (long pause) "You what?"
M: "I may or may not have broken my foot. I'm sitting with it elevated and on ice."
H: "What did you do?"
Mom proceeds to tell me the whole story in vivid detail. And assures me that it's "probably just a sprain. That one time, I sprained my foot in three places and it cracked then too!"
H: "Well do you need me to come home? I should come home."
M: "Noooo you need to be at work, you're the only one there today. Besides, I'm fine. I'm not bleeding. I really wasn't even going to tell you, but I figured you'd have a heart attack when you came home and saw me like this."
H: "Well I'm glad you told me and that you're icing it. Just sit still. I mean it!"
At this point, my dear mother says she will sit with her foot up, which I have a hard time believing. We discuss me coming home and I tell her I think we should probably go to urgent care/emergency room or something. But then I pause because she was there in September with a rib injury and I was nervous the ER people thought I abused my mother then...two visits really wouldn't help matters. Plus, she has a semi-recent shoulder injury that she's been taking medication for....

For the record, I don't abuse my mother.

Anyway, I left work early and took my mother to the emergency room. They x-rayed her foot and found a very clear break that was actually nicely set already. She got a shoe to wear, was told to stay off it, and to follow-up with her doc at home. They didn't accuse me of abusing my mother (thank goodness).

And yet, all my mom could talk about was not being able to finish the rose bush! Oy.

Here's wishing you a good weekend with no broken bones!

Day Off!!

That Time I Fell Off the Wagon...Into a Puddle...

Remember way back in August when I swore I was getting serious about studying for my license exam? Well, yeah, that went well for about 3 weeks. And then the students came back in full force and I got really busy at work and quickly distracted by other fun projects at home (like my renovation, new carpet, and DIY projects).

But now I'm back at it, pretty seriously for the last 2 weeks or so. I guess near-daily updates from your boss about how much business he is turning away in his private practice will act as an effective motivator. I suppose thoughts of a pay increase at work also helps.

I know it's probably boring for all of you to read about, but I think I need some extra accountability and motivation to keep up with my studying. So, I'm going to try to post a weekly update here, to track my progress. So here goes...

I spent a LOT of time studying this weekend. I was really having a tough time on my developmental/lifespan section and finally managed to get some consistently high quiz scores. Finally. I've moved on to diagnoses, which I worked on a little before. I'm trying to hit the diagnostic areas I know are more difficult for me. So far, so good.

The funny thing about studying for this exam is that it's such a daunting task. I mean, everything in psychology is fair game. Even stuff I never took a class on, like Industrial/Organizational Psych. I'm also trying to use study strategies that I'm not very good at, like making up mnemonic devices. I have never been good at creating them. I really am NOT good at making acrostics (first letter of each word in a sentence to remember ideas) up and it usually takes me so long I just give up and move on. But I'm trying, darn it. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I have been messing up the order of Freud's psychosexual stages lately (specifically the genital and phallic stages), probably because I'm also trying to remember which of Erickson's stages coincide. So here's a little mnemonic I made up this weekend for Freud: Only Awesome People Like Guns: oral, anal, phallic, latent, genital. It's not like I'm a gun-toting, NRA member or anything, but it's the first thing that came to mind and it stuck. I guess that's the point, they're supposed to stick.

Woohoo! Here's to mnemonics!

Speaking of Social Ineptitude...

I've decided it's Shame Week here at The Heidi Diaries. Sharing those stories from my walks, made me think of another time and place when I was basically... a big nerd. And it had nothing to do with dogs.

To preface my story...you remember the movie Dirty Dancing? (Durr, who doesn't?) Remember the scene where Baby gets into the clubhouse where all the dancers go to hang out and "unwind" every night? Well Johnny asks his cousin what Baby is doing there and she says, "I carried a watermelon" and after Johnny walks away she realizes how stupid that sounded and says, "I carried a watermelon?!?" Just in case you don't know what I'm talking about, check out the scene on youtube here (by the way, the scene is a little long, but feel free to enjoy the whole thing).

Anyway, back to my story. Once upon a time, in college, I had a crush on a boy. But not just any boy, a super-cute hockey player boy. We shall call him Lenny. I loved all things hockey and was a die-hard fan, so imagine my excitement to learn that a super-cute hockey player was in a class with me! And sat right by me! And could actually hold some intelligent conversation from time to time. He seemed more shy than you'd think...he WAS a hockey star after all...but we would often chat before class started. Now, Lenny knew I was a smartie and occasionally asked to borrow my notes when he had to miss a class or two. I think I even borrowed his notes once and they weren't bad. All semester I secretly pined for Lenny, but figured it was never gonna happen.

But then, an opportunity presented itself (gasp). Lenny was going to miss one of our last classes before the final. Being a nice person, and secretly pining for Lenny, I took a risk and sent an email offering to study with Lenny for the final. Don't get me wrong, I was actually concerned about the final too and really thought having a partner to study with would be great. Mostly, though, I just hoped it was my big chance.

I lived with 3 friends (and 1 odd roommate) in an apartment that year. The 3 of us were pretty close and had planned to make Christmas cookies together as a way to unwind during finals week and to spend some quality time with one of our roomies, who would be studying abroad the next semester. One night, while we were all hanging out at home, the phone rang. It was for me. I can't remember who answered it, but I think she asked the caller if she could tell me who was calling.

It was Lenny.

(Gosh, I'm getting all anxious just writing and reliving this moment!)

My roomies knew of my crush, so there was squealing and giggling, maybe even some high-fives, I don't know. I was terrified, but answered the phone as calmly as I could.

(I apologize that my memory of this initial part is sketchy. My memory was clearly affected by my terror.) We did our normal thing- I think he usually greeted people with "What's going on" or something super-original like that- and I always had an equally creative and original response, probably, "Not much." I'm pretty sure he brought up my email and our upcoming final. And then Lenny said:

"So what are you doing tomorrow night?"

To which I cheerfully responded, "I'm making cookies with my roommates!"

Lenny paused for a moment before replying, "Making cookies with your roommates?"

Me, "Yeah, you know, Christmas cookies." I think I babbled here for a second. At this point, I'm pretty sure my roommates were frantically waving at me and trying to signal that it was no big deal to miss part of our cookie-baking extravaganza. Such good friends. Wanting me to get my big chance with Lenny.

Lenny, "Oh, well I was going to see if you wanted to meet at the library to study together for our final. But if you're too busy..."

Now quickly trying to make like it's no big thang and of course I'd LOVE to study, after all our final is coming up soon... Plans were made, the conversation ended.

I looked at my roommate and said, "I'm making cookies with my roommates?!? I'm making cookies with my roommates?!"

I was horrified. Embarrassed. Ashamed. I felt like Baby from Dirty Dancing. My roommates didn't even really understand why I decided to share that bit of info with Lenny. All I could say was, "Well, it's what we had planned. He asked what I was doing, and that's what I'm supposed to be doing." Oy.

In the end, the cookies got made, I passed the final, but I never did show Lenny my face again.

OK, not that last part. I showed up the next night to study. Lenny brought his cute hockey player roommate along, probably to act as a buffer and witness in case I tried to kidnap him or something. Awesome. He also asked me about the cookies. I hid my mortification and muttered something dumb. And then we studied. I think he also passed the final.

The end.

My Social Ineptitude Is Showing

Note: I toyed with titling this post, "Dog Owners Are Weird" but then decided it was better to own my weirdness and social deficits, rather than make a general statement about other people who may or may not be as weird as I am.

Before I got Lilly, my first puppy dog, I wanted a dog so badly. It had been some time since my childhood dog had died and I missed having a pup. I was obsessed. I mean, seriously obsessed. I would go on walks with friends and I'd see a dog and his or her person approaching. As they got closer, I ooohed and aahhed over the adorable dog and breathlessly asked if I could pet the dog. Then, I would pet the dog and babble at it and say how pretty he or she was. Before I completely embarrassed myself, my friend would usually gently nudge me and continue walking, thanking the nice person for letting us pet the dog. One day, my friend and I were walking away when this little conversation took place:

B: "Wow, that guy was really cute! Why didn't you flirt a little?"

H: "Huh? What guy? Where?"

B: "The guy."

H: (blank stare. crickets chirping.)

B: "Heidi. The guy. Walking the dog."

H: "Huh, guess I didn't notice. But wasn't that dog sooo cute?"

B: "How could you not notice the person walking the dog? And a cute guy?!"

H: (now slightly embarrassed) "Well I just saw the dog...and ... wanted to pet it...I was really only looking at the dog...(mumbles incoherently)."

No, unfortunately I am not exaggerating. That story really happened. Never did figure out what the guy looked like. And my friend may or may not have taunted me with that story every time we went walking. Or anytime she felt like laughing. Or when we saw cute guys. Or a dog.

You'd think now, with two dogs of my very own, I'd be better about paying attention to the people with the dogs...interact socially...meet new people. You'd think.

Fast forward to yesterday. It was a balmy 37 degrees when I left work. Still sunny too (woohoo!). I decide it's time to finally get the dogs out for a walk. There was excitement all around. We even managed to walk one block farther than usual and things were going well- the dogs were being good, I was keeping them on the sidewalk, and we'd had no run-ins with squirrels or other people or dogs. 

And then we hit the home stretch. I could see a dog and a person farther down the sidewalk. My dogs started getting a little excited and antsy. I decided since I had two bigger dogs, I would step aside onto a driveway to let the guy and his little dog (a Basset hound puppy perhaps?) pass by. But no, he also stepped aside and told me to go past. By this time, the dogs were anxiously pulling at the leashes, wanting to meet a new dog. So, being a good dog owner, I asked if they could say hi. The guy said sure, as his dog was clearly excited too. The sniffing and tail wagging commenced. Dog Guy was sort of talking to his dog saying something about "oooh, new dogs" and I was telling my dogs to "be nice." After a minute, we both sort of pulled the dogs away and resumed walking in our opposite directions. Two seconds later Montey started coughing and hacking from all the straining and pulling on the leash and finally horked up something gross and snotlike. Ew. 

It wasn't until I was about 20 feet away that I realized, I barely spoke to Dog Guy. I was paying such close attention to the dogs that I barely spoke to the attractive guy walking his dog all by himself. Again. What is wrong with me?! A cute guy, with a cute dog, walking. Alone. In my neighborhood. 

Cripes. I'm such a socially inept, dog-loving weirdo.

It's Just One of Those Days...

What can I say? I'd like to stick my head in the sand for a while...but can't. Things have been busy around here- last week K-Dog and I traveled to Milwaukee for an 8-hour training. And back. In the same day. In blizzard-like conditions for the majority of the trip. Both ways. Uphill. OK, not that last part. But really we hit a storm out of town and then hit it on the way back into town, which sucked. And made for a long day- we left at 5:30 am and didn't get back until 8 pm or so. Of course I didn't sleep well the night before or the night after. Yuck. It took me days to recover from the sleep deprivation.

It's going to be a really busy week too. But I'm going to try my best to write a couple of blog posts.Until then, just know I'm around here somewhere... and I've been trying to keep up with all of your blogs too!