Dear Diary,

Do you ever just stop and wonder about your life?

Sometimes I just stop and almost laugh because I'm not sure this is what I envisioned my life to be. In some ways, that's a good great thing, yet in other ways, I wonder how things ended up the way they are.

I was so excited to finish my dissertation and get this job and get my "real life" started. But I'm still in limbo. I'm waiting to get settled. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

I might've found a house... again... and all of a sudden I got really nervous about it. All these thoughts started running through my head:

"Holy crap, this is a lot of money."
"Do you really want all this responsibility?"
"What the heck are you going to fill this house with?"
"Is this the right neighborhood for me?"

I'm trying to figure out if I'm nervous because I just haven't had much luck with this house thing and I just don't want to get my hopes up. But I'm also trying to make a realistic, informed decision. I just feel like there's this nebulous blob of anxiety hovering over me.

"All at once
The world can overwhelm me
There's almost nothing that you could tell me
That could ease my mind.
Which way will you run?
When it's always all around you
And the feeling lost and found you again
A feeling that we have no control."
-All At Once, Jack Johnson

XOXO,
Heidi

Confession

I've been a little addicted to reality TV lately. Besides the HGTV shows, I mean.

For the very first time, I watched American Idol this season. Even though I only watched the last 4 or 5 episodes, I was totally into it. If there are any hard-core Idol fans reading this, I know, it's nothing for me to watch the end of one season (I've already been told as much). But the talent sucked me in! I even voted! My favorite was Danny and not just because he was a Wisconsin boy, but because he really could sing. After him, my favorite was Kris (the eventual winner) and yes, I voted for him too... twice in one night. I just couldn't bear Adam winning!

I'd like to say that was my first time voting on a reality TV show, but as I was thinking about it, I realized I voted for Food Network's The Next Food Network Star one season. I can't wait for the new season to start! I love that show. Food and competition?? Perfect! There's always one person that gets under my skin and drives me nuts.

But my most shameful secret... is my addiction to the show Tori & Dean. You know, Tori Spelling of Beverly Hills 90210 fame. There was a mini-marathon on this weekend and I watched it for hours. I did manage to do laundry and clean my purse and whatnot, but I get sucked into that show so quickly! Back in the day, I got sucked into the first season when they had a mini-marathon!

What is it about these darn shows?!

All right, so now it's your turn. I want to hear about your reality show addictions. I know you have them. I know I'm not the only one out here. Spill it.

More Adventures in House-Hunting

Ah yes, it's time for another installment of those wacky adventures and crazy mishaps I find myself in as I search for my new home.

Today I went out during my lunch hour with my Realtor to look at 3 houses that were recently listed. I should point out that these homes did not have any interior pictures (always a big concern for me!), one stated that it needed "TLC", one indicated that the owner was retired and ready to move into a condo, and I don't even remember what the other said. I forced myself to take a chance on these homes, since they were all nicely priced and in AWESOME neighborhoods.

As we drove to home #1, I noticed the cute neighborhood, mature trees, and great curb appeal. Hmm, maybe this house will be great after all! And then... we opened the door to a time capsule. A smelly time capsule. I'm not kidding. There was wallpaper everywhere, doilies, slightly creepy framed art prints of children holding kittens, flowery knick-knacks all over, and I think there may have been a plastic carpet runner or two. Did I mention the doilies? I have a sneaking suspicion about why there were no photos of the inside. The home wasn't so bad, but would need a lot of work (wallpaper removal and painting) and some big updates (kitchen). The yard had lots of landscaping,which was pretty, but made the yard seem very small. The coolest thing I saw, seriously, was the newspaper hung on a bulletin board in the basement dated December 7, 1941.

It was here that my Realtor had a slight mishap involving a laundry chute and a bra. It could've been much worse, don't get me wrong, he did manage to get the door closed before the little old lady's underwear came flying out. I was still laughing 20 minutes later.

House #2 was being sold to settle an estate... this was the "TLC" home. Boy, did it need it. I could easily sink $20,000 into the home for updates and probably still not be finished. The layout was odd too. Have I told you I'm developing a fear of basements? I've been in a LOT of creepy basements lately and I have started to hate going down to check them out. The doors always seem to stick, the light switches rarely work, and I usually manage to walk into cobwebs and spiderwebs. This one wasn't too bad, but it was dark, musty, and full of cobwebs, so I spent as little time there as I could. Blech, I still feel like I'm covered in cobwebs.

We literally spent 3-4 minutes in House #3. The people were still there (urgh) and scurried to the garage to hang out while we walked through. I feel bad that we only spent a few minutes because I bet it took a lot of effort for that little old woman to get out to the garage in the first place!

I guess I'll keep looking...

Rejected

I didn't get the house. I found out this morning at about 8:30. At least I didn't lose sleep over it last night- I was out cold by 9:30!

I'm supposed to go look again at one of the other houses from last weekend. It's a nice home, been on the market for a while, good neighborhood... but honestly... I'm kind of tired of all this.

Competition

Another offer is on the table. They meet this evening to discuss and decide what they're going to do, so I won't know anything until then.

Still Waiting...

I got an email this morning from my Realtor saying they were going to counter-offer, but he hadn't yet received the counter. So, I'm still waiting.

At least they didn't pull the house off the market. I choose to see this as progress.

No News...

It's 20 after 10 and I haven't heard anything yet. I'm tired and think I'm ready for bed. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully brings a counter-offer.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes, support, and interest!!

The Waiting Game

Well, I wrote an offer this morning on House #2 (see previous post). They need to accept or reject it today, though they can counteroffer tomorrow or after... obviously I'm hoping they just accept it.

I'd like to say that I have a very busy day to keep my mind occupied, but I don't. So I'll be anxiously awaiting word.

Adventures in House-Hunting

I went out on Saturday to see 5 houses. I was hopeful and even a little excited because I thought I had some very promising options.

I met up with my Realtor bright and early and we went to House #1- very cute in the pictures and a very nice price. I imagined myself hanging a swing on the front porch and some flowers. However, not so cute in real life... and not really worth the already-low price. Moving on...

House #2 was the house that gave me hope last week. Priced at the higher end of my range, but great neighborhood, very nice home, and lots of character. In reality... everything I was hoping for and more! I fell in love with the home. I can honestly say this home is better than the first home I put a bid on! And then... another freakish stroke of bad luck! We went to lock up to head to the next home and my Realtor couldn't find the house keys! He'd been holding them with the lockbox thingy and apparently they slipped out somewhere! Neither of us heard anything fall on the hardwood or tile, so they were either in a carpeted room or outside in the giant yard! We split up and started looking, to no avail. He was ready to leave and call the listing agent, but I was determined to find the darn things- this wasn't getting in my way of buying this house! We swapped areas and then both looked in the yard, twice. Finally, a saw a tiny glimpse of something yellow in the grass, then a glint of metal- the key!! Then nearby, the other key! Hooray! My Realtor tells me that these odd things don't typically happen to him, but for some reason, they tend to happen when I'm around!

House #3 was OK... nice yard and a good deal of living space, but compared to my beautiful dream house (see above), this house seemed pretty lackluster. House #4 was odd, poorly staged, and nothing I was interested in. House #5 was very nice, lots of space, great neighborhood, but again, seemed a little lackluster compared to House #2.

I think the winner is House #2. I'll keep you posted...

A Renewed Sense of Hope

I'm not sure exactly what happened, but this morning I had a renewed sense of hope that I will find a house soon! As you know, I've been pretty frustrated with this process and disappointed and not sure I was going to find something. This morning (bright and early) my Realtor sent me a few updated listings and one of them caught my eye. As I studied the other listings, I found a few more that have potential!

I picked up coffee and a breakfast sandwich at a new-to-me coffee place (it was delicious) and while I was waiting I checked out some cards they had for sale... the first pack I picked up were moving/new address cards! They were very cute and I made a mental note for later. Then I randomly picked up a second pack and those were also moving cards! Wow! Maybe the universe is sending me a new message!

Since I'm headed out of town for a conference for a couple of days, I won't be able to look at the houses until Saturday and I'm hoping I find my new home... would you keep your fingers crossed for me?

Whose Bright Idea Was This Anyway?

Who convinced me to buy a house? I have a bone to pick with you.

Ah, Spring!

I know, I haven't written in a while, but I was walking on a very sleepy, quiet campus this morning, noticing all of the new life, breathing the heavy humid air (still readjusting to the humidity here!), enjoying the view of the calm river, and I realized, Spring has sprung!

The grass is very lush and green from all that rain, the flowers are popping up everywhere on campus, and the little baby leaves are showing themselves on the trees and bushes! It's beautiful. It's exciting. It's a new beginning and I'm especially glad for that.

I heart Spring!