Sweet Success!!

This picture has nothing to do with what I'm about to say...except that I love it and it makes me happy. And that's enough for me. :)

Anyway, onto the Good News!

I passed my national licensing exam!! Ha! Take that EPPP!

So that's where I've been lately. I really didn't tell many people when I was taking it, or that I had taken it when I was finished. I just really didn't want people asking me every day if I had heard anything yet...although K-Dog and T asked a number of times anyway!

After such a drawn-out application process with the state, I had been approved to take the exam and originally scheduled it for February 22. I was mentally ready to have it over in February. But alas, it wasn't meant to be- I took a practice exam and didn't score as well as I thought I should, which really shook my confidence after being SO ready. Then some major stuff was going on at work and K-Dog and I decided I should just reschedule. It ended up working out really well because even more major stuff went on with a coworker getting very ill, a blizzard, and some client issues. Plus, it gave me more time to overcome my confidence issue and prepare.

I took the exam on March 22...and barely dodged having to travel in another blizzard. It was bad enough I had to drive a couple of hours in rain, sleet, snow, and wind. Both ways.

I was not sure how I did when I left the exam, which is common based on what lots of others have said. I tried to think positively, but I'll be honest- in the excruciatingly painful weeks I had to wait for my score, I was nervous. In the beginning I did pretty well, but as time went on I became more nervous and cranky! It didn't help that I am nursing a rib injury that has seriously restricted the physical activities I can do- so no Pilates or yoga or walking two strong dogs! I am certain that would've helped me manage my anxiety.

But Friday I came home from work and there it was...the letter from the state. I was scared to open it, but K-Dog was texting me to just rip it open...I know he wouldn't have left me alone until I did. So after a moment or two of hyperventilating, I tore it open and saw that I passed. I burst into tears! K-Dog called at that moment and I blurted out the words and started sobbing again...I'm pretty sure I was kind of laughing too...and I remember saying, "I'm just so happy!" He told me we were definitely going out for a drink now! He told me to call my mom and dad immediately and he was going to go call L and "everyone".

I managed to tell my mom I passed after I randomly updated her about a situation we had during the day. I was bawling again. She yelled to everyone in the room that I passed, which was kind of comical. Then I sent a few texts and the craziness ensued. Then my friend J called- apparently K-Dog even called her! Aww, I was touched that he called her too. (I had finally broken down and told her about the exam one night when we went out to dinner.) She was out of town but was so excited for me and promised to celebrate with me later.

So now I need to let the others at work know...I know they've been thinking about it. It's been tough to duck out of answering questions like "So when is the exam?" I'm not sure, but telling some people at work might make me start weeping again.

I did tell The Crush that I took the exam when he and I had a phone conversation a couple weeks ago at work. He told me to make sure I let him know when I pass as it will be a reason to celebrate. Then he said he'd have to sit on the sidelines because of his knee, but could "watch the festivities". Um, what the heck does he think we'll be doing? Pole-dancing? Psshhh.

Now I just have to finish the last couple requirements and I will officially be licensed! Woohoo!

Success!

We've had a student intern working with us this year, and recently hired another one. They've been absolute blessings! My intern (I say "my" because I'm her direct supervisor, but she's really "ours") designed an amazing poster series for suicide prevention and some general advertising for our services. Let's face it, the old posters were ugly. And cheesy. Yuck, not us at all.

Hers are way better. Here's a partial shot of a nearly-final draft of her poster- I cropped it and added a watermark that doesn't appear in the actual poster, obviously.

I think that little wooden person is our new unofficial mascot! The posters are pretty powerful, no? I know we wouldn't have gotten these done without her hard work and creativity.

So I was a little nervous when I found out recently that the internships offered to students were being examined and we needed to "reapply" to be able to call our positions "internships". Clearly the benefits to the students were great- they can officially call it an internship on their resume, it's a higher level of pay, blah, blah. The benefits to US were huge too- higher minimum requirements, higher pay, learning objectives...all which basically meant that we would be more likely to attract more motivated, qualified students who would be around for a least a full year. Overall, I completely agreed with the decision to re-examine some things campus-wide, but the moment I found out we had to submit a job description, learning objectives, etc., I was overloaded and a little stressed.

Naturally, I had my intern fill out the applications. :-) She did a great job and we worked together to get everything submitted on time.

Then I got an email "suggesting" I make a change that I thought was silly and since I was in the middle of dealing with a few crises on campus, K-Dog and I decided it wasn't really necessary (and by the way, was not required according to their instructions). After a few weeks we got an email requesting additional information from the committee. A handful of tedious, miniscule points of clarification, including the previous suggestion. Again, my rock star intern took a stab at it- one of the points of clarification required percentages of time spent on each of the duties/tasks, so who better would know than the intern doing them? Exactly. Again she and I worked together to get the changes made and submitted.

I found out last week that our internships were approved!! Woohoo! Even better news: my rock star protégée is interested in keeping her position next year! Whew!

My Lil' Girl is Growin' Up!

My lil baby girl dissertation is growing up so quickly! My, how time flies! She now weighs in at 99 pages!

Since I didn't have any pictures that fateful night she was born (for which I've received a bit of flack from some of you), I have included my official signature page! I've removed last names to protect the innocent... I've included the text below, just in case you can't read what it says...

"WE HEREBY RECOMMEND THAT THE DISSERTATION PREPARED UNDER OUR SUPERVISION BY HEIDI A. ENTITLED OPINIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND HELP-SEEKING AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS BE ACCEPTED AS FULFILLING IN PART REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY."

Hopefully my revisions will soon be finished and I can take my baby girl to the Graduate School and then to her new home in the library! I'll keep you all posted!

Dissertation Nation

The big day is a week away! I've been trying to work on my presentation and prepare for my defense, but I've been so tired and distracted. Work has been nuts lately and needless to say, (but I'm sayin' it anyway) I have a lot on my mind!

Anyway, my PowerPoint slides are coming along very slowly but I need to speed it up a bit- Lee wants to see them soon. I need to sit down and read my full dissertation as part of my preparation ... you would think that I would know that thing inside and out, but it's amazing how quickly the small details escape you when you've been working on something for years. Literally. Years. It does give me some small sense of accomplishment to see that stack of paper sitting on my table (and a sense of sadness for destroying so many trees in the process).

I know this research isn't going to save all of humankind or bring about world peace or anything. Heck, I know that few people will ever read it in its current form! But I do hope that I can take what I've learned and share it and/or use it (perhaps at my fantastic new job). It's turned out to be an OK project, though I would've done some things differently had I been able.

A couple of people have recently told me that their dissertation defenses were "anticlimactic". I can see how it could feel that way, though I've taken the long, winding, bumpy road to this place (sometimes not by choice) and so I am guessing I will feel a sense of relief and pride when all is said and done. I'll probably call my mom crying again, to tell her the good news.

When I defended my Master's thesis, someone told me, "Heidi, just enjoy this experience today. This is your work. You really do know the most about your work. So savor this moment. Enjoy it. Have some fun." Now, it may seem difficult to associate fun with presenting your research to highly educated individuals who are there to question, critique, and judge your hard work, but I did enjoy and savor that moment. I felt like I was able to sit down with colleagues and talk about research and education and I enjoyed it.

I plan to do the same with my dissertation.