Confession...

I may have developed a new addiction... a blog addiction. What started out as a simple way to keep in touch with people has mutated and grown into something else.

I don't know if you've noticed, but my blog keeps changing - I play with colors, fonts, gadgets, I've added books and thoughts and pictures. I tried to make it easier for people to leave comments (though it hasn't really helped increase the number). And I finally figured out how to add music! Go on, turn on your speakers!

It doesn't stop there ... I read more blogs. My list of favorite blogs has grown... I was actually a little irritated that one of my favorite bloggers didn't post anything new since early in the week and when she finally did post something today, I was disappointed! I was expecting something much more interesting and entertaining. What is that about? Who am I?

That leads me to wonder... is my blog boring? Am I leaving you all disappointed and unsatisfied? I did start out by warning people that this wasn't going to be the most exciting blog ever... but I certainly don't want you to be bored and disappointed! Feedback... I need feedback...

Not a Creature was Stirring... Not Even a Mouse?

Good news... I found the box for my coffee pot! Didn't think I saved it, but when I went to the garage to get a few other boxes, there it was, tucked into my microwave box. While I was out there, I looked over the boxes I have left and contemplated bringing my big computer box into the house. I peeked in one of the smaller boxes for the monitor or something, and noticed that the styrofoam packing seemed to be a little crumbled at the bottom of the box... then I noticed that parts of the box appeared chewed on...

Last spring or summer, I was in the garage and I heard this awful gnawing sound. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from and since it was so loud, I didn't know what it was coming from. Gave me the heebie-jeebies. I was on the phone with The Cowboy and he sort of laughed at me and said it was probably a mouse that would "just run out when the garage door opened tomorrow morning." I laughed at him and asked why a mouse or other furry creature would run out when it probably had a nice home in my garage. I quickly investigated and saw what I believed were a few mouse droppings. The gnawing continued and I promptly returned to the house, vowing never to walk out there barefoot again.

Soon after, I bought a lot of mouse poison. I checked on my poison often, but couldn't tell if any had been eaten. The Cowboy, being a cowboy and knowing such things, said the culprit would make a mess of the poison and I would know if any had been eaten. No mess (except for the few pellets I accidentally spilled). Either I had the neatest mouse, or it really had run out of the garage and didn't bother to eat the delicious poison I left. Humpf.

Over time though, I did notice that some of the spilled pellets disappeared and thought that maybe, just maybe, some of the pellets had been eaten out of the little poison box. But I never heard the gnawing, nor saw droppings again. No other evidence of a furry little creature.

Until today.

Now, I consider myself to be an animal lover. I've played with pet mice. I've read all the Ralph S. Mouse books and Stuart Little. I've even enjoyed, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. But I draw the line at wild, furry vermin in my garage! What if there is a furry little dead mouse body in that computer box?! I don't think I can use it! It creeps me out! It gives me heebie-jeebies right now, just thinking about it!

My Lil' Girl is Growin' Up!

My lil baby girl dissertation is growing up so quickly! My, how time flies! She now weighs in at 99 pages!

Since I didn't have any pictures that fateful night she was born (for which I've received a bit of flack from some of you), I have included my official signature page! I've removed last names to protect the innocent... I've included the text below, just in case you can't read what it says...

"WE HEREBY RECOMMEND THAT THE DISSERTATION PREPARED UNDER OUR SUPERVISION BY HEIDI A. ENTITLED OPINIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND HELP-SEEKING AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS BE ACCEPTED AS FULFILLING IN PART REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY."

Hopefully my revisions will soon be finished and I can take my baby girl to the Graduate School and then to her new home in the library! I'll keep you all posted!

Save the Drama for Your Mama!

I'm getting tired of drama. I've had quite a bit of it lately and I really don't need any more!

I woke up motivated and ready to work on my dissertation revisions. I turned on my laptop and waited... and waited... and waited. Things were running so slowly and the programs were non-responsive. I spent the next hour trying to remove unnecessary programs, update my virus software, scan for viruses and spyware, and figure out what was wrong! Grrr. Finally, I got things up and running...

Right now I'm taking a quick break from making dissertation revisions. These revisions fall into the "Tedious and Boring" category- things like APA style revisions and grammar corrections. My next set of revisions will be "Rearranging"- I think that category speaks for itself. Lastly (I hope), will be my "Additions" category, also known as, "Things I Stupidly Left Out." I'm really hoping all of these revisions go quickly because if they don't, there will be some drama. I don't want to rewrite my whole paper. I want to get it turned into the Grad School before I leave Colorado... messing with that stuff long distance is too much!

The house I was hoping to rent fell through. I found out yesterday afternoon. I most likely won't be able to get into a place until April 1st at this rate, though I'm not entirely homeless yet (thank you Gina & Jason!). So, without a place to live right away, I need to send the dogs to live with my parents for a while and I need to figure out how I'm moving all of my stuff. I would love to use one of those PODS units to move and store my stuff, but I'm afraid they're going to be very expensive (I'm checking prices later today). I could rent a truck or trailer and then rent a storage unit until I find a place to live, then figure out how to move everything from the storage unit into my new residence... Cripes. Too much drama.

One of the dogs decided to have a midnight snack last night. The culprit pulled my bread (about 1/4 loaf) off the counter top, ripped open the bag, and ate it all. There weren't even any crumbs left in the remnants of the bag. My diagnosis? Stress-induced nocturnal snacking.

Cloud...9???

I didn't think I'd be saying this quite so soon... but I need to work on my dissertation. I took the weekend off and now I need to get back to it, so I can make the necessary revisions and be finished. But I seem to be having some difficulty getting going on it. So I've set a few small goals for myself this morning and hopefully that will be enough to jump-start me!

I still haven't heard back on the house I've applied to rent. It's starting to really drive me nuts.

I'm not sure what else to say... this might be the most boring post ever. Maybe I need some coffee or something?

Cloud 9

Dear Diary,

I'm on Cloud 9 these days. Defending my dissertation was pretty awesome, though I think I'm still in a bit of shock (I don't even mind having to do revisions). Then getting away from the Evil Empire (aka work) took a huge weight off my shoulders, but thankfully, I think I'm sleeping better already! It's nice to know that I'm going to a better environment where I can go back to doing what I am very good at and LOVE and it's been nice to feel wanted and appreciated- and I'm not even there yet!

Yesterday I packed up my office and turned in my keys. It felt good... though it felt a little weird to be home on a Friday afternoon without my dissertation or another big project hanging over my head. I grabbed some lunch and finally used my Blockbuster gift cards and rented a couple of movies and forced myself to have a low-key afternoon. I even fell asleep on the couch! After all the stress and drama of late, I really don't mind having a few low-key days! In fact, it will do me good.

I just found out today that one of my favorite bloggers, Farmgirl Susan (foodiefarmgirl.blogspot.com), is writing a cookbook! It'll be about eating more seasonally and locally, which I've wanted to do more of ever since reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and will have some gardening tips too! How exciting! I think Farmgirl Susan has inspired me to try to grow some Swiss Chard and lettuce in my backyard too... now I need to find some good seed catalogs! Oh... I suppose I need a house with a backyard first...

So, for the first time in a while, I'm feeling quite happy, relaxed, and excited about upcoming changes!

XOXOXO

Call Me Doctor...

I did it! I passed my oral dissertation defense yesterday afternoon!

Lee said I "nailed the orals" and I got some other really great feedback from my committee members. My toughest committee member was even impressed by the fact that I had knowledge at my fingertips- I could speak to his questions, give him examples of research and didn't get too flustered by his "rapid fire" questions. Although... he did ask me a statistics question that I know and have read all about but when he asked me, WHOOSH!, it went right out of my head. So I grappled with what to say, gave it my best shot and then he said, "No, not really." I'm sure my face got a little red, but I did laugh and made a lame joke about it. Maybe that's why Larry told me, "Nice job today. You are so skilled in the verbiage; even when you are a little off base you are so very skilled. Congratulations!!!"

It was fun. Of course it was nerve-wracking, but I did have fun.

So then I chatted with some of my friends in the Department and went to Starbucks to meet Canadian friend Steve. We had a nice chat and then I was able to just sit and relax by myself for a while. I tried the new Vanilla Rooibos Tea Latte and it was wonderful (and caffeine-free --I was already quite wired). I highly recommend it. I also enjoyed a Red Velvet cupcake. It was really quite perfect- I was in a comfy chair, sitting in the sunshine, sipping my lovely tea latte, and Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin were playing! Love it!

The evening festivities got started when I met up with some friends at Cafe Vino in Fort Collins. I have never been there, but it was very cool and hip (thanks for the suggestion Talisa!). It was great to be celebrating with my friends...it was humbling to see so many people at the table with me. I had a fantastic time, I laughed a lot, hugged a lot, and had to have someone drive me home... but instead of stress dreams I dreamt of beaches and I woke up smiling.

Today I am going to go clean out my office at work: I'm leaving work earlier than expected, which is A-OK with me.... I would like to keep having dreams of beaches.

Ramblings

Happy Presidents' Day! I'm glad today was a holiday, because I needed another day to take things a little slower. I did a little packing, some cleaning and laundry, took a much-needed nap, and read a little for fun. Oh I did some work stuff too...I have more of that to do tonight.

This week is going to be very hectic:

• Tonight I'm having dinner with one of my former supervisors. I'm excited to see her.
• Tomorrow night I'm going to talk to a group of grad students from my program about my "fascinating job" - the professor that invited us to speak to her students literally used those words. So, when should I tell them that I just quit my "fascinating job" for something much, much better?
• Wednesday we'll travel to an office site to do a brief presentation (I bet it will take longer to get there than it will to actually present) and I have last minute preparation to do in the evening.
• Thursday morning, we travel to a different office site for another training (different topic) and then I head over to campus for my defense! I'm going to have coffee with Canadian friend Steve and then get together for a little celebration with some other people! Hooray!
• Friday will hopefully be a typical day...
  
  Last night I sent my defense PowerPoint to Lee and he wrote me early this morning saying, "Looks GOOD!" so I guess I can basically cross that off my To Do List. I also started reading through my whole dissertation, but didn't get very far. Instead, I started filling out a mound of paperwork for the graduate school and for my new job. I didn't get through all of it, primarily because I can't complete the new job stuff until I know where I'll be living, my new employee ID number, etc.
  
  Speaking of a place to live... I sent in a rental application for one of the places my family checked out this weekend. I still haven't heard anything back. The suspense continues....
  
  Oh, and in case anyone was wondering... I start my new job in 4 weeks!

Relocation Station, Part 2

Well, the packed boxes are stacking up... This morning I packed up all my movies, which in retrospect might have been a bit silly, since I've kept myself entertained while packing by having a movie playing. Oh well, I still have Netflix.

I still have lots of empty boxes and plan to get more- I need boxes from the liquor store (oh, that rhymes). They have the nice dividers for glasses and plates and things. I've decided to use some of the collapsed boxes I got the other day to create custom packaging for my larger pictures hanging on the walls. That should be a fun project.

That reminds me... I need more bubble-wrap.

On the house-hunting front, my sister, mom, brother, and nieces and nephew are in Green Bay and De Pere today checking out some houses. I couldn't do this without their help! They're such troopers! Hopefully they find something for me, Montey, and Lilly...though I have already heard that the first place was "in the boonies" and "nasty." The suspense is killing me...

Happy Heart Day

I don't really "do" Valentine's Day... I prefer to wish people a Happy National Condom Day or Happy Heart Day ... and by heart I do mean the actual heart that beats inside our chests and keeps all of us going. February is Heart Month, after all. So do something good for your heart this weekend.

But then I saw this fantastic comic and had to put it up on my blog to share with all of you! In the life of a graduate student... there is some truth here!

Anyway, have a happy V Day or Heart Day or Condom Day... whichever you prefer to celebrate!

XOXOXO

Heidi

The List

I came across a blog the other day that sparked an idea in me... coming up with a list of 30 things I want to do before I'm 30 years old. I'm not sure exactly what I would put on such a list, but it did get me thinking! I mean, there are lots of things I would love to do at some point in my life, but I'm not sure I can realistically do them before I'm 30. Let's face it, I'm running out of time here- going to Ireland or buying a house might not be realistic in the next year and a half.

I do know that I want to grow some tomatoes in my backyard... and eat them, of course. That's been something I've wanted to do for a while and just couldn't make it happen last summer.

I also want to see a financial advisor. I'd like to be more knowledgeable, mindful and organized with money.

Running a 5K would be another thing on my list.... Apparently I've just started my list of 30 Things to Do Before 30! I'll have to think more about it and add a few more items.

What would you have on your list?? However many things to do before you turn however many years old??

Dissertation Nation

The big day is a week away! I've been trying to work on my presentation and prepare for my defense, but I've been so tired and distracted. Work has been nuts lately and needless to say, (but I'm sayin' it anyway) I have a lot on my mind!

Anyway, my PowerPoint slides are coming along very slowly but I need to speed it up a bit- Lee wants to see them soon. I need to sit down and read my full dissertation as part of my preparation ... you would think that I would know that thing inside and out, but it's amazing how quickly the small details escape you when you've been working on something for years. Literally. Years. It does give me some small sense of accomplishment to see that stack of paper sitting on my table (and a sense of sadness for destroying so many trees in the process).

I know this research isn't going to save all of humankind or bring about world peace or anything. Heck, I know that few people will ever read it in its current form! But I do hope that I can take what I've learned and share it and/or use it (perhaps at my fantastic new job). It's turned out to be an OK project, though I would've done some things differently had I been able.

A couple of people have recently told me that their dissertation defenses were "anticlimactic". I can see how it could feel that way, though I've taken the long, winding, bumpy road to this place (sometimes not by choice) and so I am guessing I will feel a sense of relief and pride when all is said and done. I'll probably call my mom crying again, to tell her the good news.

When I defended my Master's thesis, someone told me, "Heidi, just enjoy this experience today. This is your work. You really do know the most about your work. So savor this moment. Enjoy it. Have some fun." Now, it may seem difficult to associate fun with presenting your research to highly educated individuals who are there to question, critique, and judge your hard work, but I did enjoy and savor that moment. I felt like I was able to sit down with colleagues and talk about research and education and I enjoyed it.

I plan to do the same with my dissertation.

Yum!

I've been eating a lot of soup lately, but tonight I made one of my favorite, quick dinners that my friend Erin taught me to make. It's got a few of my favorite things- cheese, pasta, and butter!

Here's what you'll need:
Cheese ravioli or tortellini (frozen or dried), made according to the package,
Butter,
Salt & pepper to taste,
Balsamic vinegar.

Once you've cooked the noodles according to the directions, drain them and warm a non-stick pan on low heat. Add some butter (a tablespoon or so) to the pan and allow it to melt and let it brown lightly. Be careful browning the butter! Turn off the heat before the butter burns. Add the pasta and coat it with the butter. Sprinkle some balsamic vinegar over the noodles, so that you have a nice coating (not too much) and let it warm slightly. Remove from the pan, add salt and pepper to taste. Enjoy!

I cooked some chicken breast and added it, which was also quite good. Steamed broccoli compliments the dish nicely!

It's a Girl!

I wrote this the other night/morning at approximately 1:20 am. I didn't think to put it in my blog right away. Anyway, here is my "birth announcement." Enjoy!

Oh. My. Gosh.

I'm listening to the most lovely sound...my printer. My printer is bringing my beautiful baby girl dissertation into the world. She is a total of 91 pages, about 11 inches long, and a beautiful shade of Ultra Bright White. This might sound cliche, but the first time I held her in my hands, caressed and counted each little page, and gazed lovingly at each precious word... I fell in love. I will soon send her out into the world to face criticism & rejection, so these moments are precious....

Ahem. Well...I'm over it... I'm cloning her now to be distributed to my committee later this morning. :)

Oh! Baby girl dissertation clone #1 is finished!

Blog Envy

I've developed a case of Blog Envy. I look at some of the blogs out there and think, "My blog will never be like that blog."

Most of my favorite blogs have beautiful pictures that could be in magazines, and some of them actually are.

Some blogs have catchy and fitting music, which I haven't had time to figure out.

Other blogs have fancy gadgets and gizmos, with which I cannot compete.

I guess I will continue to learn about the world of blogging, try a few new things, and later, when things calm down for me, maybe I will add music and gadgets and more pictures.

But for now, I will just be envious.

It's a Dog's World...

I just came home from running a few errands- we needed more dog food- and found a special surprise. Earlier today I mentioned how the dogs are pretty content to sniff boxes and stare at me while I pack, but I forgot how much the dogs really like to be involved in what I do.

I left one bag full of shredded paper out near some boxes (I've been saving paper from my shredder to use as packing material). Clearly the dogs wanted to help me pack. They opened the bag and took out some paper but couldn't find an empty box and gave up. It's not too much paper and I know they were just trying to be helpful.

What can I say, the pups like being involved. When Lilly crawls on the couch next to me or in my lap, Montey wants to too (I have a very small couch). There was that time Lilly decided she was grinding her teeth at night and thought that since my mouth guard was so helpful to me, she should try it too. Montey tries to pick up his toys- he picks them up right out of the toy box after I've put them there. He also likes to make sure I know that he put a toy next to me on the bed, sometimes in the middle of the night, by standing near the bed and pushing it with his front paws over and over. He knows that I have been forgetful lately and wants to make sure I know he's waiting for me to throw his toy.

Goofy dogs...

Relocation Station

This relocation business is more difficult than I remember. Although I have accumulated more stuff and two dogs since my last big cross-country move...so that could be part of it. The dogs seem to be handling things pretty well so far. They're content to sniff each new box as it's brought in the house, packed up, and stacked to be put somewhere later. Though they do stare at me a lot while I'm bubbling-wrapping or cheering with joy each time I realize I have the perfect box for this or that. (It's true. I realized that a few of the collapsed boxes I got from work are the perfect odd shape for a few of my lamps and I cheered out loud.)

I don't mind the packing that much...it's good to have plenty of boxes and bubble-wrap on hand. It's finding a place to live that's stressing me out at the moment. (No, I'm not ready to buy a house even though the prices are good.) I'd like to check things out and get a feel for the place before I think about buying a house. I would like to rent a house again, but for some reason, I can't find one!

Meanwhile, I've used over 36 square feet of bubble-wrap and 54.6 yards of packing tape. Maybe I can construct a home out of boxes, bubble-wrap, and tape!

Confession...

I seem to have developed a bad habit. It's been going on since August... and it's gotten to the point that I'm finding it difficult to control and contain. I just can't get enough, even though I try to tell myself to slow down.

I've been...hoarding... boxes. There. I've said it. It's out there and there's no denying it now. It started when I applied for a job back in August. I told myself to gather empty copy paper boxes from work whenever one was available. Box by box, they added up. I smiled when I thought about how prepared I would be when the time came to move. Now empty boxes are stacked in the garage, in my spare closet, and a few on my bedroom floor...even 2 more at work in my office!

It doesn't stop there, though. At work we've had a lot of people moving from one building to another and for weeks there were all these collapsed boxes stacked by the back door. I kept telling myself not to take them without asking ... I promise I didn't take any without permission, but when I got permission, oh joy! I took quite a few sturdy boxes! The collapsed ones take up even less space in the garage! More room for more boxes!

Tonight I actually eyed-up an empty box at my friends' house. A nice-sized amazon.com box was sitting near where I left my shoes and I wondered if they were going to use the box, and if not, could I have it? I got a small box from my mom the other day and was irritated that she covered the whole thing in so much packing tape that getting the box opened basically ruined it so that I couldn't use it! Dammit!

This problem of mine may have been going on for a long time. I just thought it was common sense to save the computer box. And the blender box. The humidifier box, the microwave box, the weed wacker box, the box from my cell phone, and even the tiny boxes from my jewelry.

But now I'm starting to wonder if I've always been a closeted box hoarder.

Well, Here Goes...

Dear Diary,

This is my very first entry and I really don't know what to write about... though as I was writing "Dear Diary," I couldn't help but think of that episode of The Office where Michael's diary gets read out loud at a deposition. He started each entry with "Dear Diary" and ended with "XOXO." I'm not sure I'll be doing that, except maybe on special occasions, like this first-ever posting!

Anyway, my Canadian friend Steve suggested I start a blog to keep in touch when I move to back to Wisconsin. I thought it might be kinda fun to try, though I warned him it might get the award for the most boring blog ever! :-)

Lots of changes and excitement in my world lately. I got a new job, getting back to doing what I love and miss. I'll be moving back to Wisconsin, closer to family and friends...and good cheese. I feel overwhelmed and excited, happy and sad, and really, really tired. It's only been a week since I accepted my new job and I think the reality is sinking in that I will be leaving Colorado, my home for the last six and a half years. I will be saying a lot of goodbyes. Needless to say, this amazing opportunity is bittersweet, indeed.

XOXO