Unsettled

Occasionally I dream about someone from my past. These dreams seemingly rise up out of nowhere ... like fog...and they bother me. Not because they're bad dreams or anything. In fact, they're usually fairly nice dreams. They usually involve him and me... and strong feelings for each other... though sometimes the feelings are expressed a bit too late and other times we're right smack dab in the middle of this deep love for each other.

Like last night. My dream last night involved a marriage proposal. The ring I got had a "diamond" that looked like a hunk of hand blown glass....you could see those tiny little bubbles inside. I didn't seem to care that much. But to his credit, he told me it was temporary and took me to a fancy store to find the one I wanted pretty much right away. The dream was nice. We were happy.

But I opened my eyes this morning and the whole thing bothered me. These dreams about him just bother  me. Why him? Why now? Why does he pop up out of nowhere without a reason? It's not like I heard something about him recently or saw a picture or anything. I've virtually heard nothing from him since maybe once or twice very early in college. Before that we had basically parted ways sometime in the middle of high school and really had little to do with each other.

Usually I can shrug these feelings off, but today seems different. I feel foggy. I feel distracted and irritated. And it's almost like I have this nagging worry about him. For the very first time in years I have actually thought about trying to find out about him. I even tried to see if he was on Facebook.

But why? I don't really want to have an ongoing friendship with him...not really. And I think I heard a long time ago that he was married. So why now?

What does it all mean?
Why do I continue to have dreams about this guy?
What should I do?