Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Musings...

I have internet at home again!!! Woohoo! Gosh, I really didn't think I depended on the internet so much until it was gone for a while. It's been a crazier week than I imagined and I'm so looking forward to the weekend... and winter break!

I was planning a CrushGate update for you... a few updates actually. But I've been having a really hard time writing these updates lately. I tried a few times and I keep stopping and starting. And I wonder why it's so tough lately, particularly because I like telling the stories and you all seem to like reading them. Of course it's exciting for me, I mean, I have a serious-15-year-old-girl-type-CRUSH on someone. We all know I have had issues with serotonin and dopamine lately...I mean, last week I was dreaming about puppies and babies. What the h@$*??

But I think part of my struggle is trying to figure out how much I want out there. I mean, at first the stories were really funny and mostly just embarrassing for me. Now, they're still embarrassing for me (uh, especially all that social ineptitude), but what if someday, something does actually happen...what would he think about all this? And cripes, do I really want him to know all these embarrassing-clumsy-panicky-smitten thoughts I've had about him from Day One?

Chances are, I'd probably tell him this stuff anyway... 

But for now, I think I need to put a little more thought into my approach going forward. I'm still open to writing about it...I just need some time.

What do you think? Suggestions? Comments, feedback, any advice?

More importantly, can you forgive me for putting off a CrushGate update again?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh you are too cute. I totally understand where you are coming from. Share what you feel comfortable sharing. It's not like I'm going to look down on you because you aren't spilling the beans!

Personal I've struggled with the same thing. The reason I shut down my frist blog was because some people knew about it and were basically making fun of me for it. So I got another blog and didn't share it with some people.

mom said...

Heids, just go ahead and take the plunge. Be a polar bear. If it is meant to be, it will come around. If not, you tried. At least you will be trying and not just letting him go. I'm behind you all the way. Love ya.
The more you think about it the worse it is going to be.

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1. And the Band Played On- Randy Shilts
2. Listening to Prozac- Peter D. Kramer
3. Thinking in Pictures: My Life with Autism- Temple Grandin
4. Nickel and Dimed-Barbara Ehrenreich Eh, it was OK. Reminded me a little of Dirty Jobs.
5. Into Thin Air- Jon Krakauer
6. The Satanic Verses- Salman Rushdie
7. Middlesex- Jeffery Eugenides Read it. Loved it. Recommend it.
8. A Perfect Spy- John le Carre
9. What is the What- Dave Eggers LOVE this book! Very inspiring!
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle- Haruki Murakami Done.
11. The Known World- Edward P. Jones
12. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone- J.K. Rowling Read it twice!!
13. The Bonfire of the Vanities- Tom Wolfe Hmm, the jury is still out on this one (pun intended).
14. Infinite Jest- David Foster Wallace
15. The Unbearable Lightness of Being- Milan Kundera
16. Beloved- Toni Morrison - Abandoned.
17. The Handmaid's Tale- Margaret Atwood
18. Freakonomics- Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner A really interesting & thought-provoking read!