CrushGate Update: "Heidi Stops on Green"

So. It's been a long time since I've had a CrushGate update. It's been kind of a rollercoaster since my last update, but I've no time for details now.

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when our front desk staff called and said The Crush was on the phone for me. I thought, "Hmm, I wonder what this is about." Before the call was transferred to me, I kept reminding myself "Social skills, social skills, social skills." We exchanged hellos ... and even though I've been telling myself for a month that it's not going to happen and to let it go, as soon as I heard his voice it all started again- pounding heart, dizziness, that oh-so-special vomity feeling I get. Yes, this is why I need to remind myself to use social skills and to remember my own name. It was actually kind of surprising to me how hard it all hit me again- things had gotten better with my increased interaction with him last semester! Apparently a month of zero contact resets my internal freak-out mechanism. {Seriously, what IS IT about this guy? It's killing me.}

Anyway, I asked how he was doing, then asked if his holidays went well. He replied, "Eh, they came and went, how about you?" I replied briefly while thinking, "Gosh, we're chatting so much more than usual, I wonder what this call is about??"

Then he said, "So are you watching the game this weekend?" {You know...the big Packers game...it's a real big deal around here.}

It's hard to describe everything running through my mind, but I know one thought was along the lines of, "HOLY crap, maybe this is why he called, maybe he will ask about watching the game. I should let this play out a little."

I replied, "Yeah! I hope to!" and internally I was thinking, "Heidi, don't start rambling about not having functional TV channels to watch the game and then explain that yes you have a TV but don't have any stations..." Sigh. So I kind of left it at that. Then said, "The games last weekend were a lot of fun to watch, the Steelers game was intense!" He proceeded to tell me he ended up falling asleep during that game "to conserve his energy for the Packers game" and I teased him some.

All while this was happening I was thinking, "Heidi, invite him to the bar with you and K-Dog for the game! This is the perfect chance!"

Did I invite him, my dear readers??

No. Because as my friend BK puts it, "Heidi stops on green." As an aside, near the end of last semester, K-Dog did tell TC that he should come out with us some night after work to our favorite place for wings and beer. TC was open to it but it ended up never happening for various reasons. Seriously, I already had a perfect chance to ask him and I didn't. I'm still not sure exactly why, but I do know I missed an opportunity {although, honestly when he called yesterday, K-Dog and I really hadn't made plans to go to the bar to watch the game this weekend. We do now.}.

We ended up talking then about the real reason he was calling and I don't think he was too happy with my response, but I did the best I could to be helpful. I encouraged him to follow-up with me so I would know the outcome and so I could also do my own follow-up, if needed. He hasn't.

Soooo...if I can work up the courage right now... I'm going to follow-up with him about the student he called about. And I'm going to try my very hardest to just invite him very casually to watch the game, eat wings, and drink beer with me and K-Dog.

I can do this. I will not vomit or pass out.