Life Lessons...From a Tomato

I've got spring fever. I daydream about warmer weather and fresh herbs right from my backyard.

So naturally, I ordered the new seeds and supplies catalog from an awesome place, Seeds of Change. They're certified organic and do some great community projects. As a bonus, the catalog is seriously fascinating reading. 


It got me thinking about my tomatoes last year. I definitely learned a few important things. And I realized these lessons didn't have to be just about the tomatoes anymore...


Embrace diversity! Difference is a good thing! There are more colors, textures, shapes, and sizes out there than you probably realize. Embrace them all. There's more out there than just generic, hothouse tomatoes.

Have patience & hope. I was so excited for my tomatoes to get here, once they started growing. After eagerly checking their progress week after week after week I started losing patience. I started losing interest. And I started thinking that my tomatoes were going to rot before they actually produced anything edible. But then, their true colors started showing and I felt a bit silly for losing patience, interest, and hope. Who am I to rush nature? It'll happen when it's supposed to and that's that. 

There are always going to be a few freaks. Nuff said.


Sometimes things aren't going to go the way you expect. From the moment I bought my little tomato plants, I had been daydreaming about all the tomatoes I'd have by the end of the summer. I was thinking about all the different ways I could enjoy my big harvest. I secretly wondered if I could convince my mom to help me can some tomatoes for later. Oh, the possibilities! Then my plants only produced a few tomatoes. Not even all at once so I could make a batch of salsa! One precious ripe tomato at a time. Which brings me to my next point...

Enjoy what you have. I admit, this one is sometimes difficult for me. I sometimes think more about the things I want instead of making the best of what I have. But boy, when it came to my tomatoes, I savored each one! 

Learn something from the experience and make it better next time. Honestly, this is probably my personal motto. I try to learn something, even from really crappy situations {cough, last job, cough cough}, and try to make it better the next time. You can bet I'm going to (try) growing tomatoes again this year. But I'm going to do a few things differently. We'll see how it goes.

So tell me.... what lessons have you learned from a tomato? Or carrot or cucumber or pumpkin or...whatever!

PS- I've also learned a lesson or two from this amazing tomato!!!

Disappointment...Then Hope

Last Friday, party day, was a tough one for me. I was trying to juggle some intense client stuff with all the everyday stuff, and last minute logistics for the party.

So it sucked to get an email from The Crush- sent to me and K-Dog- saying he couldn't come to the party after all because of a doctor's appointment involving his knee and a cortisone shot. The appointment was supposed to be in the morning, but had been moved to the very end of the day and he wasn't sure how he'd be feeling after. {Sigh} He DID say he would go out with us the next time we went out.

K-Dog tried to reframe things by saying it would take pressure off me for the evening so I could have fun. That's true, but I still felt a bit disappointed.

Just to be sure I didn't lose the momentum and bravery I'd magically and recently acquired, I decided to email him back:

"Oh Crush*, rub some dirt in it, you'll be fine. ;-)"

*Obviously I didn't call him that.

He emailed back pretty quickly with a "hahaha" and said that's probably what he'd tell his students. Ah yes, we think alike. :-)

The party was a lot of fun, but I'll admit, a teeny part of me hoped he would show up at some point. He didn't.

On Monday I emailed him again. You know...to express care and concern. {Seriously. Where is this bravery coming from?}:

"How's your knee? Did you survive?

PS- You missed a great party, but I'll try not to rub it in. :)"

About 30 minutes later he replied that he might be having surgery and:

"May be on the IR for a little while, but I am looking forward to getting invited to another one of these bashes sometime soon!"

The next day, I wrote again. Told him I was sorry to hear about the surgery, asked about recovery time (you know, since personally I'd like his time on Injured Reserves to be short) and then:

"I'll definitely keep you in the loop on upcoming excursions to {the favorite hangout}. Not sure when we'll go next- I have my national licensing exam coming up, so I'm basically going into hiding. Although passing would absolutely be cause for celebration."

After I hit 'send' I wondered if I needed to be cut off...if I was developing a weird addiction and if he was starting to think I was creepy or something.

But before I could get too worried he wrote back!

"Well good luck on that exam! I hope you kill it."

He also said he hoped his recovery was short but that it depended on what they found.

Mostly I focused on the first part...and the thought of a post-passing-celebration. {Insert goofy smile here}

It's oddly motivating.

I'm A Big Girl Now!

As I mentioned last week, we threw a little party for K-Dog. In the midst of everything, K-Dog had run into The Crush and invited him, but by Thursday we hadn't gotten an "official" RSVP from him.

So I called him. I guess I was feeling brave because I just picked up the phone and called with almost no hesitation. {Yay me!} He answered the phone really quickly and seemed pretty no-nonsense...and he always just answers with his first and last name and I realized I usually end up just repeating it back to him {I really should probably try not to refer to him by his complete name all the time huh?}. Anyway, the important thing is, when I identified myself his voice perked up. :)

I jumped right in and asked about the birthday party, to which he replied, "Well, I do have a lot of engagements, but I was going to try to swing by...to squeeze it in between all my other engagements..." He went on to say he had a work thing on Saturday out of town, so he couldn't "get all crazy like you people" and he'd be late because he had a work thing going until 5, which is when the party started, but he would be there. I told him it wasn't a big deal, we didn't usually get too crazy and gave him some info about where we'd be once he got to the place. We hung up and I had no one to share my excitement with! Everyone was busy! So I sent L an email because I had a couple of other RSVPs to pass to her. I knew she'd be excited too.

Later, I found out that shortly after our conversation The Crush emailed L his official RSVP and said he was looking forward to coming to the party. Because she hadn't yet read my email, she forwarded me his email with a smiley face, then realized I called him!

When K-Dog returned from his meetings, I told him I called The Crush and found out he'd be coming to the party..and I told him about the other RSVPs. K-Dog was glad to get the update on all the party planning details, then asked,
"Why did you call The Crush in the first place?"
"To ask him about the party. That's it."
"Ohhh! You're wearing Big Girl Pants now!!"

Yes, yes I am.

I may be a 15-year-old girl with a crush, but at least I've graduated to Big Girl Pants!



Tune in later for more of the story....

CrushGate Forecast: A Ridiculously Hot, High Pressure Front is Moving In

We've been planning trying to plan a Birthday party for K-Dog, who is turning the big 4-5 on Thursday. I've been on K-Dog's case to make the guest list since January. Literally. Since I'm "work wife" that's partly my job. Our coworker, L, has been helping out and coordinating with "real wife".

So long story short: invites didn't go out and "real wife" found out she needed to be at a conference and her kids had sports tourneys over the weekend. Birthday Extravaganza was nearly canceled.

Then yesterday K-Dog gave the go ahead! The guest list (somehow lost...) was quickly recreated and email invites were sent out. There was talk about The Crush and select people from his department getting an invite, but they got cut at the last minute for various reasons. I didn't mind honestly, it's K-Dog's party.

Then today K-Dog left for a meeting and when he didn't return right after, I figured he went to the caf to eat. But for some reason I had this feeling that he would have a story to tell when he got back. I even said it out loud like 4 times to T- "When is K-Dog gonna get back, I just have this feeling he's gonna have something good to tell...he always has stories." Sure enough, K-Dog immediately launched into telling us that The Crush came up to him and asked, "When are we going out for wings?" K-Dog asked him what he was doing on Friday and The Crush said he didn't have plans. K-Dog explained that "work wife" and "real wife" had been working on a party but because of a snafu, we had literally decided yesterday to go forward with it. The Crush said he'd be there. K-Dog said he'd make sure to get the invite with official stuff forwarded out.

So it looks like The Crush will be there... {gulp}

I'm trying not to get my hopes too high...but given everyone's enthusiasm, including K-Dog's, it's tough not to get a little excited. Seriously, I think my coworker L was more excited than me at first! She sent an email asking how I was doing and starting talking about going shopping for a new top! LOL She's so funny. I feel the love.

And a little nausea. 

{Sigh}

More Adventures in Painting

First of all, yes, this does look like an insane art project...or maybe something done by a 3-year-old when no one was looking. I don't really fall into either category, in my humble opinion.

Anyway, I know this is a horrible picture taken with my cell phone, but don't the blobs on the left look more gray to you? They sure do to me!

(By the way, even after applying some Kilz (I used a little of what I had on hand) to the wall, I can still see some yellow coming through. Granted, I am probably painting too lightly.)

Second, apparently I'm not the only one out there with the "gray paint looks blue" issue. Seriously, if you're interested check here or do a Google search. Apparently this is a common problem. Who knew? In my effort to be all "scientific" about narrowing down my choices and whatnot... I never really thought to Google it BEFORE.

I'm so relieved the paint looks more gray after painting it on the white primer! I think I will live with these new blobs for a couple more days before I officially decide. Besides, I have some time yet... in an upcoming post I'll show you some of the other stuff I need to take care of first!

Eat Your Heart Out Georgia O'Keefe!

{Note: The following blog post is rated PG-13 and may not be suitable for young audiences. Reader discretion is advised.}

I like Georgia O'Keefe. She was unique and her work was larger than life- you probably know her best by her up-close-and-personal paintings of flowers.

Anyway, you probably already know this, but some say O'Keefe's paintings were ... hm, how shall I put this delicately...reminiscent of genitalia. There. I said it. See for yourself. 

source 

Don't worry, this isn't an art history lesson... but it IS about the weirdest plant I've ever owned...one that Georgia O'Keefe, if she were still alive, might have a field day with!

Remember my pretty little Lipstick Plant? My sweet little plant? So pretty and green.

Last year sometime, my little plant got one or two tiny dark purple flowers. Nothing too exciting happened with them and I didn't think much more of it. Then this year, around Thanksgiving maybe, a whole slew of teeny fuzzy purple buds started popping up on the plant. They took a long time to grow, but they kept growing taller until finally, it looked like something was growing up from inside the plant. "Cool," I thought. "Like a tube of lipstick."

Day by day the "inner flower" made its way up, until one evening I was walking past, while on the phone with my mom, and I stopped mid-sentence and blurted, "Ohmygoshmom! My plant! The flower looks like...well it looks like...a ... a penis! I'msorrybutthat'swhatitlookslike!"

 

I felt a little dirty looking at it. Although, that didn't stop me from snapping a few pictures on my cell phone and texting them to a few people, my mom included (hey, she asked!). 

Yes, some people do say it also looks like a thumb or finger. OK. Fine. I'll go with that. I wasn't thinking anything else would happen until a friend said she was curious to see what would happen when it bloomed. Cripes. It might do more!

And bloom she did. The next morning I woke up to this:

Pretty, huh?

Appropriately enough, I had a whole bouquet of what I lovingly refer to as "penis flowers" just in time for National Condom Day.

This was taken after a couple of them had bloomed...

What a weird little plant. I kind of love her.

Erm...wait...should she be a he??? Or perhaps a he-she??

Paint Update...

Thanks for all of your thoughts and suggestions about my paint situation! 

Right before I left for work this morning, I snapped a quick picture of a couple of my paint blobs. At least these look a little more grey! These are right near the window and it was bright and sunny this morning, so maybe just having a lot of natural light helped cut the yellow down. I don't know. I also took this picture using the "daylight" setting on my phone, so maybe that helped? This was closest to how it really looked on the wall this morning...

Hmm... this kind of looks like a Mark Rothko, doesn't it? I DO love his stuff, so maybe I should just build a frame around this and leave it there? Ha. :)

I didn't do any priming yet, but I still plan to this weekend. I really want to be sure my bedroom doesn't turn blue/purple in artificial light before I go and paint the whole darn thing. I'll keep you posted.

Happy weekend y'all!

Watching Paint Dry (May Be Hazardous to Your Health)

You know that expression, "It's about as fun as watching paint dry?" Well last night, when I put paint on my bedroom walls, it WAS fun watching it dry!

Let me back up... I ended up taping my paint chips to my bedroom walls the other day, in two different spots to account for lighting differences. I stared at the chips on Sunday and Monday at various points...my life is glamorous, don't be jealous...and narrowed it down to two colors.

French Silver, by far the popular favorite!

And Pebble Grey. In some light Pebble Grey ended up looking lighter than the French Silver, but at other times, a little darker and a little more tan.

Last night after work I got some samples and couldn't wait to get them up on the wall! I decided to paint a "square" (they ended up more like blobs than anything) for each color in three different spots on my wall. And then I watched the paint dry for a bit. I was so excited...

But then...as it dried it looked ... bluish...

I think the craptastic yellow EVERYWHERE is pulling out the blue tones in the paint...or maybe my retinas are burned forever.

I know the paint is grey...look... ah, so loverly...

I know this isn't the best picture (taken with my phone) but ... am I crazy? Don't these look bluish or purple-y? They definitely don't look very grey in person...and I'm a little worried! Granted, I've been mostly looking at these spots on the wall in artificial light, but I'm nervous I'm not going to get a good read on the colors.

(By the way, the edges are "feathered" so you don't have ridges when you paint over...a neat little trick I read about on Young House Love!)

Any thoughts? Should I go over the wall with some white primer and repaint some sample spots? Take the plunge and pick one of the colors, possibly without having a good read on it? Let the sample spots sit there while I prep and begin painting the inside of the closet, the doors, the ceiling, and the trim....to see if cutting down on yellowpalooza helps?

Help!

Oooh Shiny!

{Imagine me saying that like Jack McFarland from Will & Grace. Season 2...Will just had his floors refinished...the outtakes are flippin' hysterical!}

Besides finding awesome lamps over the weekend and picking up paint chips, I did a little thrift store browsing. I haven't been able to do it in a while, so it was fun and relaxing to look around. Although...I will admit, I was actually one of the FIRST 3 people in Goodwill on Saturday. I walked in behind another woman at 8:58...the store doesn't open until 9:00.

Does this mean I have a problem? It was an accident, really, I promise.

Anyway, I ended up finding this cool silver candlestick!!

With the snuffer thing attached! I've never seen one like that, so I thought it was a pretty cool find. I've been on the look-out for some silver candle holders and candlesticks for a while and haven't had much luck before. I'm actually thinking of buying a few mismatched brass ones and spraying them, but we'll see.

At $1.49, I think this baby was a steal!

For now, she'll stay on my favorite windowsill {can you see all the crazy snow out there? Ugh.}. But I am definitely considering putting her in my revamped bedroom!

So, have you scored any amazing thrifty finds lately?

The Bedroom Update

A while back I mentioned my hopes and dreams for overhauling my bedroom so I could have a lovely, airy, light, inviting space...instead of yellowpalooza. I've been slowly gathering the important elements...bedding, a few accessories, paint chips...

I found the bedding at my local TJ Maxx one day for a pretty reasonable price. I'm going to keep you in suspense for now and not share a pic just yet. I'm mean, I know. It's a duvet cover, so I will have to revive my down comforter that I haven't used for a while. (Apparently my mom learned a trick to get them all fluffed and looking like new again, so I'll let you know about that when I actually do it.)

When I was in the Twin Cities last weekend I found a few other things for my "dream bed", like a fun throw, a coverlet, and some fabric to make some pillow covers. No sheets or new bed skirt yet though. Hmm, I need to remember those things!

Today I went to Home Depot for some paint chips to coordinate with my duvet cover. I plan on hanging them up in my bedroom in a couple spots, like the experts recommend (did you know Martha Stewart paint chips actually have adhesive on the back already so you can do that?! That woman thinks of everything!). I managed to rule out a couple colors right away, but these are the ones I'm left with...

French Silver... when I mentioned to a coworker that I was thinking about gray walls she told me it would be too dark and heavy for a bedroom and chastised me for liking "dark, depressing colors". This doesn't seem dark or depressing to me. 

Cathedral Gray... initially I really liked this one and thought it was nice with the duvet, but after looking at it with the others and in the room, it might actually have more of a tan tint to it. I know you can't tell that here, really.

Dark Pewter... ok, now this is a little darker than I would go, but I still really like this color and it's such a nice contrast. Maybe I could go with this and have them lighten it? Or do one wall with this?

Pebble Grey...I know it might seem that this color is the same as one of the above colors, but when you have the cards in hand, they're definitely different. This is probably somewhere between Cathedral Gray and French Silver actually.

Granite Grey...I'd say this one is between Dark Pewter and Cathedral Gray. Pretty, but has a little more brown in it than I was expecting.

What do you think? I think any of them would be just fine and will look nice with my Parchment White trim, etc.

Now, the thing I'm REALLY excited about....lamps! After looking in a few places in the Twin Cities and here I was feeling a little overwhelmed and a tiny bit discouraged because of how stinking expensive lamps are! But when I was walking through Home Depot today I browsed the light section and found ....

two of these beauties!! On sale! For $27 each! Regularly $54! Woot! Seriously, who would've guessed Home Depot would have awesome table lamps? Anyway, the base is glass...ceramic?...and obviously white and glossy. The shade is just slightly off-white, though it looks a little more yellow in this picture (gee, could it be those yellow walls?) The height is good, I love the drum shade, and it takes a 3-way bulb! Now I just need new bedside tables...hmm.

OK, so you know my room will be full of grey/gray and white. Fear not, I do have color. Here's a sneak peek...

I found this little bird bud vase in a fun shop in the Mall of America and loved it right away. Then I realized it coordinated perfectly with my bedding! Seriously, I had been carrying a pillowcase in my purse all weekend, so to be sure, I whipped it out and voila! So there you go! Grey/gray, white, and this turquoise-y/Tiffany blue color will definitely be in my revamped bedroom!


So, what do you think??

Happy National Condom Day!!

I'm really not one to celebrate Valentine's Day, as you probably know by now. I almost forgot all about it actually... and I'm ok with that. But do check out this link...It's got some interesting fun facts for you!

In other news, I had a really fun weekend in the Twin Cities with my brother! I did lots of shopping & browsing, ate some yummy food, and had a lot of laughs...which tends to happen when we are together. :)

My good friends finally had their baby! I'm so very happy for them and can't wait to meet little Cody. Though who knows when that will be! Another Colorado vacation may just have to happen.

It's going to be a busy week. Well, starting tomorrow anyway- I have today off! So "Mega-Weekend" continues.

Here's hoping all of you have a great day, however you're spending/celebrating/dreading it. :)

Eye Candy

Maybe it's a bit silly or frivolous, but when I saw this lovely book 50% off at a store closing. I vaguely recalled seeing it mentioned on a favorite blog and once I picked it up and flipped through...I just couldn't resist.

It's chock full of glossy, pretty pictures...

 Solutions and ideas to steal...

 

And it's organized by room, so you can jump right into the part of the house you're most interested in!

But it's also got tons of tips you can really use to decorate your home...in your own style. (They even help you define your style.)  I love that there are real examples of how to mix and match things...I think being a little bit eclectic helps a place feel lived in and not too "matchy". Don't you?

One of my favorite parts (besides the eye candy throughout) is at the end...sort of like a dictionary of all things decorating. So if you ever wondered what your options for pelmets were or what the perfect curtain length was or what that particular shape of headboard was called, this section is for you!

This book makes me happy. I love all the pictures and tips. I love seeing something kind of cool and thinking about how I might be able to do something similar in my house. It's fun.

So how about you? Do you have any house-type books lying around that you love? Either for the helpful tips or for the gratuitous eye candy??

Love It!!

Woohoo! Congratulations Green Bay!!

Way to bring that trophy back home where it belongs!

Dear Winter,

Taken during the Blizzard of '09

While I consider myself to be a 4 Distinct Seasons kind of gal, it's no secret that you and I have had a troubled relationship. At times you can be so sweet, offering beautiful gifts like Snow Days (though few and far between for me), pretty snow and ice covered branches, quiet nights, squeaky footsteps, excuses to stay indoors with a warm blanket and cup of hot something-or-other, and fluffy white snowflakes that inspire people to walk around with their tongues out to catch them. These are lovely things, Winter, and I truly do thank you for them. 

But there are the other times, when it seems like you are so overbearing and relentless ...almost as if you're showing off how much you can really do- the high snowbanks, slippery streets, bitterly cold temperatures, day after day of dreary gray skies, and the early darkness. 

I'm of tired of your moodiness and unpredictable behavior. I'm tired of having towels all over my dining room to wipe up wet dog paws (though at least they're clean and wet). I'm tired of feeling like I should be going to bed because it's so late only to realize it's barely 7:00.

I think we should go our separate ways Winter. 

It's not me. It's you.

Sincerely, 

Heidi

Love It!

I had all but given up hope in finding another bottle/kit of French Tip nail polish that I loved as much as the Sally Hansen kit I'd had before. The white polish was the perfect consistency, the brush was thin and teeny- perfect for painting with precision (even without those sticker things that never worked for me anyway)...the pink was a nice, healthy, natural kind of pink. And then I ran out and couldn't find a replacement kit. Well that's not true...I bought one or two and the white brush was always a normal-sized brush. Which was ridiculous. I returned them. I even bought one of those pens. Mistake. Too runny and unpredictable. Never lasted more than a couple hours.

And then...then I found these beauties by Rimmel.

 

They didn't come in a kit, which was fine by me...there were a couple of pinks to choose from anyway. The white brush is oh-so-teeny, and the consistency of the polish is perfect. The pink is pretty and natural...in fact, I was drawn to the pink first- I was looking for a new nail polish and imagine my happiness to find the white I'd been looking for!

Also, another very pleasant surprise (probably hard to tell my picture)...

the pink brush is big! Wide! Which means fewer strokes! I have large nails, so for me this was so exciting! I wanted to take a picture of the brush on my nail...but um...do you know how hard it is to take a picture of yourself painting your own nails? Hehe. I actually was able to get a shot but it's not really in focus, so...we'll just skip it. :)

Anyway, I just got these yesterday, so I'm not sure how long this Rimmel polish holds up, but I have high hopes. I'm so excited to be able to do French tips on my nails again!* So clean and pretty and classic. Hooray!

I will say I'm still addicted to my Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Anti-Chip Top Coat and almost always use it (unless I've run out) whenever I paint my nails. That way I can avoid those darn fabric patterns pressed into my nail polish!

Anybody else out there have a favorite brand of nail polish, French tip or otherwise??


*I know, this post may seem a bit more "girly" than usual for me...and some of you reading this (especially the few men out there I know who read this) may not care one bit about my nail polish preferences. Oh well.

A Gift From Afar

My new friend and coworker, T, gave me a present! This beautiful shawl from India. Yup, directly from India. Her mom picked out a couple for me and my other coworker and then we chose one at work last week. The other one was black and white and also very beautiful! Tough choice!

These pictures don't really do it justice. It seems the color is a bit different in each picture...and it probably doesn't help that I took these with my phone, at night, with bright white lighting. Regardless, it's pretty.

Isn't the detail amazing?

T showed us a couple ways we could wear it, but she told us she usually wears hers as scarves. So, that's what I did- folded it up lengthwise a couple of times and wore it as a pretty scarf. Love it!

Thanks T!! And T's mom! :)

CrushGate Update Part 2: The Little Engine... That Could

When I was little my mom used to tell me the story of The Little Engine That Could when I was scared to do something or had a tough task ahead. I remember her telling me to say to myself "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." Well folks, that was me this afternoon. After my previous post I tried telling myself I could do it, it was the perfect set-up, low risk, blah blah.

But of course, I started getting nervous. I even ended up hooking myself up to our biofeedback program (basically it's a way to measure a physiological stress response so you can learn to get a handle on it and calm yourself at will). My average heart rate was around 110- really high for just sitting at a desk! I should've saved a screen shot ...you could've seen a real stress response. Anyway, I tried to get calmed down and my coworker was sort of helping...but then she said, "You need to do this before 3:00 you know." She wanted to know what the outcome was before she left for the day! Turkey! A little bit later, when I was ready to flee, she looked at me and said, "Heidi, you really don't look good right now." I have such supportive coworkers. :)

So I finally took a deep breath and, just like I'd done before, picked up the phone and dialed before I could think much more about it. I figured I'd end up leaving a voicemail, but dang it, he answered right away! We chatted a little bit about something lame I started with, then I followed-up about the student. I'll be honest here...he did not sound happy at all and I really toyed with the idea of ending the conversation after I did my follow-up.

But I didn't.

I said, "OK, something totally unrelated--- what are you doing for the game this weekend? Are you going to be around?"
He said, "No, actually [a coworker] and I are going down to Chicago to hang out, watch the game. We've always said if the Packers and Bears play we should go down there and so we decided to do it."
Me: "Are you tailgating?"
Him: "No. We'll just hang out at a bar. He says he can get tickets, but I'll be honest with you....I don't really want to go and freeze out there."
Blah blah blah talking about the game and the weather forecast and the crazy cold weather we're having right now.
Me: "Well, I was going to say...K-Dog and I will be at the bar watching the game and I wanted to invite you. Plus, we never got to have you come out with us after he mentioned it to you before. Also, I owe you an apology for that...apparently it was my job to remind K-Dog to remember to invite you, but um, I didn't know it was my job {he sort of chuckled at that} and actually, we haven't gone that often since. {insert a little more work talk here}.
Him: "Yeah that sounds like fun. Let me know when you guys go next, I'll definitely catch you the next time. Once the semester starts and things settle a little it will be busy but I'll squeeze it in. So let me know."
Me: "I will. Have fun in Chicago, stay warm, blah blah."
Him: "I will, thanks. I'll talk to you after."

And then as I hung up the phone I whispered, "Let'smakeoutyoucompleteme."

But not really.

And in the words of the Little Engine, "I thought I could."

The end.

PS- After it was all over and I was exhausted from all my anxiety and after my coworkers said "That went really well!", my one coworker said, "Heidi, I'm sorry, but I really thought you were going to vomit earlier, you just did not look good at all!" Me too, my dear. Me too. 

CrushGate Update: "Heidi Stops on Green"

So. It's been a long time since I've had a CrushGate update. It's been kind of a rollercoaster since my last update, but I've no time for details now.

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk when our front desk staff called and said The Crush was on the phone for me. I thought, "Hmm, I wonder what this is about." Before the call was transferred to me, I kept reminding myself "Social skills, social skills, social skills." We exchanged hellos ... and even though I've been telling myself for a month that it's not going to happen and to let it go, as soon as I heard his voice it all started again- pounding heart, dizziness, that oh-so-special vomity feeling I get. Yes, this is why I need to remind myself to use social skills and to remember my own name. It was actually kind of surprising to me how hard it all hit me again- things had gotten better with my increased interaction with him last semester! Apparently a month of zero contact resets my internal freak-out mechanism. {Seriously, what IS IT about this guy? It's killing me.}

Anyway, I asked how he was doing, then asked if his holidays went well. He replied, "Eh, they came and went, how about you?" I replied briefly while thinking, "Gosh, we're chatting so much more than usual, I wonder what this call is about??"

Then he said, "So are you watching the game this weekend?" {You know...the big Packers game...it's a real big deal around here.}

It's hard to describe everything running through my mind, but I know one thought was along the lines of, "HOLY crap, maybe this is why he called, maybe he will ask about watching the game. I should let this play out a little."

I replied, "Yeah! I hope to!" and internally I was thinking, "Heidi, don't start rambling about not having functional TV channels to watch the game and then explain that yes you have a TV but don't have any stations..." Sigh. So I kind of left it at that. Then said, "The games last weekend were a lot of fun to watch, the Steelers game was intense!" He proceeded to tell me he ended up falling asleep during that game "to conserve his energy for the Packers game" and I teased him some.

All while this was happening I was thinking, "Heidi, invite him to the bar with you and K-Dog for the game! This is the perfect chance!"

Did I invite him, my dear readers??

No. Because as my friend BK puts it, "Heidi stops on green." As an aside, near the end of last semester, K-Dog did tell TC that he should come out with us some night after work to our favorite place for wings and beer. TC was open to it but it ended up never happening for various reasons. Seriously, I already had a perfect chance to ask him and I didn't. I'm still not sure exactly why, but I do know I missed an opportunity {although, honestly when he called yesterday, K-Dog and I really hadn't made plans to go to the bar to watch the game this weekend. We do now.}.

We ended up talking then about the real reason he was calling and I don't think he was too happy with my response, but I did the best I could to be helpful. I encouraged him to follow-up with me so I would know the outcome and so I could also do my own follow-up, if needed. He hasn't.

Soooo...if I can work up the courage right now... I'm going to follow-up with him about the student he called about. And I'm going to try my very hardest to just invite him very casually to watch the game, eat wings, and drink beer with me and K-Dog.

I can do this. I will not vomit or pass out.

Easy Peasy

I've been thinking a lot more about small changes that make us happy (happier?) in a big way. I'm guessing it's because of all the great ideas I've seen out there in blogland, but I think it's also a bit related to the book I just finished. {More on that book later, I promise.}

I knew buying a house and making it my own would be a process, but I don't think I expected I would sometimes sort of "forget" that it's my house and I can change things, darn it! But every once in a while I will catch myself thinking, "grrr, this drives me nuts" or "I don't like that" and every once in a while I will realize, "Oh yeah! I can change that!" Does that sound crazy? Any other somewhat-new homeowners out there feel similarly?

For example...how long did I live with this hateful door before I took it down? Or the ugly-floral-print-swag-thing draped ever so carefully over the curtain rods in my bedroom? What about those dark curtains in the bathroom I recently mentioned?

I mean, my DIY Homeowner Heroes certainly do not wait to change things around!! I've been inspired ... and I am giving myself permission to start changing things I don't like! Especially when the changes are relatively simple things I can do in a short amount of time!

I made a very quick, very minor change today...really it was more of a rearrangement...and it made me smile. And again, I thought, "Why? Why didn't I think of that sooner?" It's too boring to explain, but basically I rearranged the curtains on the patio door/window so that they would no longer get in the way when I opened and closed the door (it's not a sliding door), plus without my make-do quick-fix, it doesn't look so ridiculous.

It's with a tiny amount of embarrassment that I share this next easy change...The other day I took out a shelf in my small bathroom closet so I could fit the garbage can inside. See, my dogs are the type that will get into the garbage, even though they've been disciplined for it countless times. So after I was entirely fed up, I just started leaving the small bathroom garbage can on top of the back of the toilet. It didn't really fit elsewhere and in the moment it was easy to do...yet...a little embarrassing. I mean, my garbage can was on top of the toilet. {In my defense, other people don't use that bathroom too often.}** Finally, I rearranged a few things and took out a shelf so the garbage can would fit neatly inside the closet! Voila! No more surprises when I get home and the dogs don't get yelled at! Now...if I could only keep them out of my laundry baskets...

**{OK, OK, if I'm being totally honest, I ended up with the garbage basket on top of the back of the toilet in my half-bath downstairs. I've since removed a lot of random crap from the teeny cabinet under the sink and stored the basket there.}

Small Change, Big Improvement!

I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, Mabel's House, when this post got me thinking about the small changes we often put off making for whatever reason. And how sometimes those tiny things make the biggest difference and we wonder, "Why the heck didn't I do that sooner?"

Raise your hand if that has applied to you at some point. Yup, I thought so.

Long story short... I have a bathroom that needs a few changes. For now, things will basically stay the same... but there will be some updates in the future... and probably a moment or two when I need your help and suggestions!

But first, a quick fix I did so long ago that I practically forgot this post existed a while ago and haven't talked about yet! My bathroom has a window, which is very nice for natural light! Though it was covered by the green curtains you see below. The previous owner left them. And yes, they do match the shower curtain. So it was like a giant wall of green.

Quite dark...and yet... as you can see, the curtains were a bit see-through.

My bathroom is right across from a window in my neighbor M's apartment. Always felt a bit weird, especially at night, when I'd change and whatnot. But after a few bucks and a little time, I had this!

Yes, more window film! Problem solved! And I can even keep the curtain open (though it still weirds me out at night). It's so nice having natural light!! You can't tell in this picture, but trust me, it makes a huge difference!

But this was months and months after I recognized the problem. It took me forever to do (and even longer to blog about)...I'll admit money was a bit tight in the beginning, so I did spend it on more important things. But seriously, window film isn't that expensive. 

It doesn't stop there though... once again, months later I came across some extra long shower curtain liners at TJ Maxx for about $7! I needed some new extra long liners, but hated to spend $15 or more on each liner at places like Bed, Bath, and Beyond (I need 2). It wasn't as though the liners I had were all nasty or anything, don't worry. But they were an off-white and opaque. Combine that with the dark curtains and minimal room at the top (I have this weird track system, more on that in another post) and you can imagine how dark it was in the shower. Seriously. I was practically giddy about finding extra long liners so cheap!

When I got home, I took down the old liners and curtains and put the new liners up...of course I chose translucent liners this time... they let lots of light in! And I decided I was not putting those hateful curtains back up. Sure, maybe right now not having a proper shower curtain looks a little...ghetto-chic...but I'm OK with that because I absolutely LOVE having more light in there. While I was at it, I took down one of the curtain panels on the window too! I definitely didn't need that much fabric for that size window. Again, HUGE difference!

Sadly, no picture. :(

'Fess up...what relatively easy or small changes have you made in your life lately that you've been happy about but also made you wonder why you didn't do it sooner? House stuff? Life stuff? What?